The Flourishing Life
WHAT IS A FLOURISHING LIFE?
By Michael Lee, MA. Dip. Soc.Sci, C-IAYT
Founder of the Phoenix Rising Method
You are interested in creating a better life somehow, and I share that interest with you. The belief that we can consciously transform our lives has existed for centuries. Recently, this quest has become known as Human Flourishing, and there is now even an established program at Harvard University focused on it. What I'd like to do in this article is simplify and clarify what it is and what it is not from my perspective and how you might go about engaging it.
WHY FLOURISH:
- A flourishing life generally has these attributes - balance (equanimity), contentment, and passion with purpose.
- People who flourish experience more happiness, joy, and connection.
- A flourishing life breaks out of the cycle of going through the motions and getting no-where
- When you flourish, you have a better relationship with yourself and others.
- A flourishing life is a fulfilling life. You go to bed feeling good about your day and wake up looking forward to your day.
SOME THINGS IT IS:
- It is a process, not a prescription.
- It is generally a change in life – from one way of engaging life to another - AND you KNOW it works.
- It is 100% voluntary - and you get to choose every day.
- It becomes irreversible – you don't want to return to the "same old" once you experience it.
- It can be felt in the body and confirmed by body sensation - it just "feels right."
IT IS NOT:
- A resolution to change driven solely by willpower.
- Reliant upon a single esoteric practice or magic bullet (although practices do support it)
- Something that belongs to someone else or is based on "advice," "scripture," or external authority
- Something you can sit down and "figure out" or learn from books (although these things may be supportive, they are not the sole source of your inspiration).
- The same for any two people. You are one of a kind, and your way of flourishing in your life is unique and has to be fine-tuned by you.
HOW TO DESCRIBE IT, THEN?
Our inbuilt survival mechanism helps us to find ways to avoid or escape from situations we perceive as life-threatening. Our brains become hard-wired to support us. And what we believe to be true is the basis for our actions. Our beliefs based on past experiences help us "read" any situation and engage it in whatever seems to serve our needs best. When survival needs are threatened, they take priority.
Often such beliefs were formed many years ago, and much has changed, but our brain might still be telling us to be careful and watch out. Rationally, it may make no sense at all to respond as we did in the past. A person may have no seemingly valid reason to get angry every time a particular person walks into the room. But still, the feelings arise. They are hard-wired. We must re-wire to liberate ourselves from the past and step into the life waiting for us.
Some therapies engage a process known as TRP (Therapeutic Reconsolidation Process) to help clients create a mismatch between a belief from the past that no longer serves and a present-centered felt experience that contradicts the premise.
My belief, supported by my experience, suggests that we can engage this process in our day-to-day lives with just two things in place.
1. A commitment to the idea that it is possible (at least for 60 days to give it a solid try) and
2, The engagement of practices that serve to rewire during this time.
Practices and approaches to life that support human flourishing are becoming more refined and effective. They are partly sourced from ancient practices that have been around for thousands of years and, in some cases, adapted to suit today's world. They are often supported now by neuroscience and many years of successful application. These are the practices I want to share with you. But they are not exclusive or the only "right" ones. Over time, you will know what works for you, and you will then engage your life and daily practice with a commitment that comes from experience and needs little motivation from me or the outside. You will experience your "flourishing," and you will know what drives it.
Here is a summary of my practices and where you might want to start. These practices can be easily adapted to suit you, your lifestyle, and your body. However, consistent and regular practice in each area is essential until you become "established" in your practice. In other words, there will be no doubt about them working, and you will know they support you.
Here are the basics of my Phoenix Rising Method.
- Move and Breathe every day.
Your body is the best friend you have to transform your life. It would help if you made friends with it. The best way to do this is to connect. And the best way to connect is with movement and breathing. It's how you know you have a body and how you feel and experience your body most easily.
- Play the Edge
Life does not transform in the comfort zone. But it also doesn't transform in the "way beyond" zone either. It happens at the "edge." You can practice in your body to help you learn how to handle the "edges" in your life. Mindful yoga is a great tool. You engage in yoga postures at your "edge" and hang out there for a while. Whether you've ever practiced yoga or your body is rigid or loose does not matter. Everyone can find and play their "edge." If you can't, I suggest an individual yoga therapy session with a Phoenix Rising practitioner to help you. The practices I offer will help you learn this skill.
- Drop-In
Dropping-In means focusing inward. It means getting comfortable with the moment-to-moment experience, regardless of what it is. The temptation is to enquire and try to understand whatever is happening in the moment. In this practice, don't. There is time for that later. This practice is just about being right here right now with whatever is happening without the need to adjust, understand, fix, or change. Everyone has a different capacity for this kind of practice, and it doesn't matter where you are. With practice, it gets easier. It is about learning to focus on what's happening right now rather than analyzing it or running away from it. Just be with it. Like the legendary Ram Dass phrase and book title - "be here now."
- Meditate
You may not think you can't meditate because you cannot still your mind, and this belief is invalid. You can meditate if you notice your busy mind and be with it. I love teaching people who don't think they can meditate by helping them see that they are meditating. Again a regular daily practice here is most important, even if it's just 10 minutes daily.
- Listening for Insight from Within
You have wisdom that you may not know you have. We all do, and all you have to do is learn how to listen for it and use your body as the primary vehicle for accessing it rather than your busy mind. Again, the practices that I share with you will help you.
- Translate your Insight (Wisdom) into daily Life Action.
Once you begin the practices described above, you will notice old ways of being and doing things that no longer serve you. You will get greater clarity and commit more to make small but essential daily changes. But don't try to start here. The energy for this shift needs to come from within you – it generally doesn't work so well if it's just "figured out" in your mind. Think about the last time you made a New Year's resolution if you don't believe me.
My work is to continue my ongoing transformation and support others with theirs. To me, it's the best way to live. However, I want to share the most important caveat to all of this. You are not perfect. And that is perfectly OK. It's necessary. I'm not perfect, either. And at the same time, we are all perfectly imperfect. We must remember this as we engage in any life change or transformation process to create a more flourishing life. We must celebrate our imperfections when we discover them, as they fuel our transformation. To quote zen meditation teacher Eugene Cash:
If it's in the way, it is the way.
So best wishes for your ongoing life journey. I hope you will find support for a life that flourishes in what I offer, and I look forward to serving you further.
Michael
